Annamae Beeler Sax - “Finding My Own Way”

Annamae Beeler Sax

Annamae Sax is a double major in Creative Writing with a focus in Poetry and Gender and Women's studies (specialising in Queer and Trans Studies) who is traveling from Tucson, Arizona to Maynooth, Ireland. When she's not in class or stuck in a book, she loves to act, hike, and explore the world with her friends.

Christmas has always been my absolute favorite time of year, ever since I was a child, kind of to a frightening degree. I get an almost violent joy from decorating a Christmas tree and baking cookies, and I start playing my favorite Christmas music November first. (Who am I kidding? I listen to that stuff year round.) I believed in Santa until I was twelve years old, though by that point it was out of sheer willpower and spite, because I refused to let the magic get ruined for me. There’s just something about this time of year that makes me insanely happy; the lights, the smells, the cozy sweaters and time with your family. There’s nothing else like it.

And this year, I’m spending it alone.

I know, I know, that sounds exceptionally sad. And while I definitely miss my family and would give ANYTHING to decorate a huge tree and swap presents, I’m actually incredibly excited for this solo Christmas I have planned.

I’m flying to London a couple days beforehand, and that’s where I’ll be spending it. The day after Christmas I’ll be meeting up with a friend and we’ll continue to travel together, and ring in the new year, but until then, I’ll be alone. I honestly couldn’t be more excited.

This already feels like it’s going to be a huge moment of growth for me, as silly as that sounds; but with Christmas meaning so much to me, and me spending it in a city I’ve never been to, by myself, it’s going to be kind of crazy.

I love the thought of waking up Christmas morning, by myself in a hostel or hotel room, getting dressed, and losing myself in London. I’ll spend the day seeing things I’ve never seen, doing things I’ve never done, and learning about myself in the process. I normally turn into a five year old when I wake up on Christmas morning, but I think on this one, I might grow up a little.

I already know it’s going to be an incredible trip, and I can’t wait to see what London has in store for me. Happy holidays, from a blissfully lonely girl in a big old world.